Ode to a Baby Brother: The Final Chapter (For Now...)

5. Al Qaeda is after Bill O'Reilly... anyone could be next. Be sure to live life to the fullest while you can!

4. There are only 6 working days left during which you can get a US passport that does not contain an electronic tracking chip. (You think that is another one of my crazy conspiracy theories, but sometimes fact is scarier than fiction.)

3. Don't let Kyle and Curtis out travel you, man! They drool on themselves.

2. I may have made some comments to your mother that she might have misconstrued as allusions to the notion that you could possibly have joined the Hare Krishnas, and it is possible that she will not rest until she sees your cute little well-coiffed head in person and clad in something void of the color saffron... Or something like that could have happened... I am not entirely certain where she gets these ideas. Could be she is not eating enough tumeric***.

And The Number One Reason Jed Needs A Passport Is...

1. VegasBabe and BigSis may not need a chaperone the next time they hit the road, but THE WORLD needs for them to have a qualified chaperone. It's your duty to protect the huddled masses in New Zealand and beyond!

Mostly I just want to have some quality on-the-road time with my favorite baby brother, so get going!

Love,
VB

***Link To Curry Evidence

P.S. The electronic tracking chips may soon also be in driver's licenses... that means anyone with a chip reader can track your comings and goings from wherever then elect to set the darn thing up... think about it... no more anonymous visits to Green Peace rallies. Sorry to get all heavy on a tribute blog, but its all about educating the electorate... write your congressperson.