By Any Other Name...

Don't you just love how language evolves! I have a friend, Ms. M, who insists that you cannot change words. She goes ballistic when another friend talks about "journaling."

"Journal is a noun! You can't just go around adding "-ing" to make nouns into verbs" she preaches. She has similarly disavowed use of words like emailing, blogging, spamming and SIPping (local teacher jargon of little use in the real world, except when it comes to annoying Ms. M.).

I say, "have fun with language," and I laugh when I talk with young whippersnappers who do not know the origin of their own creative expressions like "BAM! You've been boozled." That one is a couple years old, but I still adore it and think fondly of former students who used it with such flair.

Don't you just love it when brand names become common nouns. Scotch Tape and Scotch Whisky... SPAM... Kleenex and Clorox. Some day I would like my very name to become synonymous with great things and ideas. Then you could say, "congratulations, you pulled a VegasBabe," or better yet, "you DID a VegasBabe."

On the other side of word coinage and usage, don't you just hate it when people are repetitive with their use of acronyms:

ATM Matching = Automatic Teller Machine Machine
Okay, that is the only one I can think of, but it is annoying.

Better stop now! I can feel your eyes drooping and that translates into a sagging readership... If I am going to go all wordanalysis on you I will probably have to invite the spammers back to boost my ego...

So, now that you've read this, does my blog smell as sweet?

eTerrorists

I was never a real fan of SPAM, until now... I just became the newest official member of the SPAM Fan Club and you should too! After all, "as a Spam Fan Club official member, you'll have access to all kinds of secret SPAM information..." It's true--the website said so! But don't take my word for it... check it out for yourself!

http://www.spam.com/

After all, SPAM is not just canned "luncheon meat." SPAM is an internationally recognized symbol of America. SPAM is an essential component of fine Hawaiian cuisine. SPAM is a way of life.

What I do not like (Hormel should sue somebody about this... defamation of quality spicy ham products, I say!) is spam on my blog! Yes, that is correct, eTerrorism has hit home at From May Eyes 2 Yours! You may notice that there are some new security features on my blog. I apologize if you feel these violate your right to free speech, but one big jerk can really ruin things for the rest of us--a fly in our meat grinder, so to speak.

I must admit, those crafty spammers had me going for a minute. I thought I had found a new, enthusiastic audience for my musings. After all, I agreed with Anonymous when he/she commented at 6:03 PM that "this is one of the best sites I have ever seen--I wish I had one like it." I smiled coyly to myself when he/she or another like minded individual reported back at 6:08 that my blog was, in fact, "really amazing!"

I knew, however, that it was all too good to be true when I read that at 6:15 someone had taken the time to note that my little project was brimming with "useful information." I know I am fabulous, but most of my ravings are not incredibly utilitarian in nature. Alas, I had been suckered. 105 messages in one evening did not mean I had hit the big time. Oprah has no need to worry about forthcoming usurpations...

Remembering that mother said "honesty is the best policy," I deleted most of the phony postings, but I did leave a few beauties. I mean I really want the word "rubbish" to appear somewhere in my blog--it is a great word and it was not used derisively against my page, so I kept it.

Just like the museums in London that have elected to retain their pock mark facades in memorial of those who lived through the blitzkrieg of WWII, I will retain a touch of spam to remind us of these, the days that try women's souls. (I won't even mention the possibility that this line of logic could all just be a crock of Bologna spun by cheap MPs in the UK ... Call me a sucker, I believed it enough to shed a tear as I photographed shrapnel scars outside The Victoria & Albert.)

Perhaps I am just too idealistic and innocent for this harsh world of cruel intentions and thoughtless politicians. Ha, ha, hee, haw!

Paco

Tonight I had a doctor's appointment. While waiting to hear the verdict as to whether I have cancer, I saw a man cruising through the back halls between examining rooms accompanied by his miniature Schnauzer, Paco.

Paco is deaf and does not answer to his name, but he apparently still enjoys visiting his endocrinologist regularly. Of course, there will always be only one Schnauzer in my heart, Kaiser! Still, good to know that even a miniature can hold a large enough place in the heart of my doctor that, health code violations be damned, he is always welcome.

By-the-way, I don't. :)

Can You Do It?

I have had this "We Can DO It!" picture hanging in my kitchen for years... my sister bought it to show that we are real, tough AND real-tough women!

Anyway, the Hillary comments to my post titled "The White House or Bust" reminded me that I saw some funny Hillary t-shirts in D.C. last week. They morphed her face onto this photo with the slogan "Hillary Can Do It in 2008!"

Now, that is the kind of creative juices we need to flow if I am going to get elected! Think harder...

Work, work, work!

Today one of my colleagues declined to help me with a project. She was too busy ripping six copies of a book on CD titled Ethics: the History of Moral Thought. I told her it would make my blog.

The White House or Bust!

Last week I was in Washington DC for a conference on the fiscal management of federally sponsored educational programs. Pretty exciting, right! I came away with a vivid confirmation of my worst fears for the future of public education. Don't even get me started about how No Child Left Behind (NCLB) is a crafty attempt to gain popular approval for private school vouchers. I know this is not an original thought, so I will not expose you to my further ravings. Anyway, I bought a "Squish Bush" stress ball to work through my NCLB frustrations. (I originally spied it for my dad, but he is a missionary now! I better not encourage bad behavior.)

At my more lucid moments I sometimes wonder whether my contempt for certain public officials will hurt my credibility when I lecture my own children about civic duties and respect for authority figures. Then I remind myself that the chances of my spawning offspring capable of challenging my hypocrisy in the next 3 years is slim; I am hoping for some dramatic changes in 2008 and I rave on (It's a crazy feeling... got me reeling...).

Today at work I took a few moments with my co-workers to rage about certain states being approved for "new path" bypasses around the regulations of NCLB (Sorry, I'll try harder to stay on topic). My coworker pointed out that no miracles were going to happen between now and the 2008 presidential elections and asked me what I planned to do about it. I said that despite the shortage of bona fide political miracles I did not think that things could get any worse.

Her reply? "Is that what you want for your country? No worse?" I really don't know what she expected me to do about the situation. Is it my fault that the Republicans listen to evil-doing spin doctors like Carl Rove. (Thought I'd copy their lingo with the "evil doers" stuff... Pretty good, right!) Am I single handedly to blame for the fact that the Democrats can't seem to find a better candidate than Hillary Clinton? Three years, I say! A lot could happen. So, don't worry.

Except I am worried, and it is time I do more than complain. It is time I make a difference. And so, it is with heavy heart and high ideals that I announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States of America. Vote VegasBabe in 2008!

I realize that I do need a better slogan as well as a campaign manager. I might as well call for applicants now. Please submit your best slogan ideas here for my perusal. I will select a campaign manager from the available applicants. (Odds are good it could be YOU!) Salary and benefits are negotiable.

P.S. If you missed the early indications of my burgeoning political ambitions, check out the pink stuff below...

To Blog, or Not To Blog...

I have not looked around the blog universe enough to know for certain, but I imagine that my little jokes are not as original as I think they are... Am I a blog-genius or a blog-nincompoopius? That is the blog question.

For the record, lets get it down on paper... err pixels and code and whatnot...
(Damn it, Jim, I'm a grant writer, not a computer programmer!)

In any case, I would like to state that I have not posted to this blog during my official work hours... Something is still wrong with the darn time and date aspect of this page. I know you can adjust it, but sometimes it is correct and sometimes it is not. And my mind is not clouded with lemonade or any other mood altering substances as I type this...

Just in case transcripts of my blog activities are used against me in a court of law, I want to state clearly and unequivocally... I did not commit inappropriate blogging activities from my place of business. Also, read my lips (err... something). I am not a crook.