Oh, You Wish You Had an Oscar for a Mayor ...

Our Mayor, Oscar Goodman, has always had a way with words... like when a group of elementary students asked what he would most want if stranded on a desert island and he responded with one word. "Gin."

Well, here are some recent musings from our fearless leader. One day, two quotes...

In response to reports that local convenience stores sell glass tubes containing plastic roses... Goodman said, "you wouldn't bring this home to your girlfriend, unless your girlfriend was into crack."

Angry with the county commissioners who disagree with his proposed plan to bring in a professional athletics team (No specific sport defined, as, evidentially, any team will do...), Oscar compared the governing body to some other local professionals. "The county, it's like a prostitute almost, haggling about price," was his official stand in front of the City Council.

You tell 'em, Oscar!

Gilt: The Great Motivator

Okay, so the trifle bowl was not worth sacrificing my principles (it was probably made of PVC too... I'm going to hell in a hand basket), but I've resolved to tighten my belt and be better in the future.

Wal*Mart still sucks! And just having to go there ought to be punishment enough for my indiscretion... I'm telling you, Dante missed a few of the circles of hell, but I've seen them all in aisle 15.

Rachel Green Has Got Nothin' on Me

It is 11:29 P.M. on a Friday night, and I am making English Trifle. While my pudding is cooling, I thought I would take time out to blog this special moment for posterity.

Recently I have been contemplating some of life's little lessons. I cannot help but observe how seldom we seem to learn from the wisdom and experience of would-be role models... I at least have to do everything the hard way. For those of you who are smarter than I and might actually benefit from the insight of another person, I offer this list of things that I should have learned from Martha Stewart, had I been paying attention.

1. It is impossible to purchase a nice trifle bowl in Las Vegas, Nevada at 10:35 P.M. on a Friday night.

2. Instant pudding should NEVER be cooked, not even if it is mixed with equal parts of "cook 'n serve."

3. Though peanut butter might take the burnt taste out of Sunday roast (try it some time!), it does not work for chocolate pudding (you just get burnt peanut butter pudding).

4. You might be able to squeeze 6 cups of milk out of the already open carton, but you CANNOT do it twice.

5. Vons at 11:15 P.M. is much more pleasant than Wal*Mart at 10:35 P.M. (give me a break... there is hypocrisy and then there is pure desperation), but you still can't get a nice trifle bowl.

All in all, I think this dessert is going to turn out quite nice. After all, peanut butter good... day-old chocolate cake good... what's not to like about this?!?

Hershey's Good New/Bad News

Thankfully we came home prior to his being able to down the bottle of Melatonin he had chewed open (last way I want to spend my evening is on hold to poison control... again). Unfortunately, he managed to eat an entire box of microwave popcorn before he could be stopped.

Now he and Lulu will not stop licking the buttery flavored carpet under the Christmas tree. I think this will all probably work itself out in a few days (wink, wink), as long as we keep him away from the heater. Oh dear, my mother moved to New Zealand before she ever had the chance to advise me on how to respond when you dog starts popping!

I liked it better when all of his energies were focused on good oral hygiene.