A Book A Day Keeps the Blues Away

Saturday mornings taught me early on that "knowledge is power," but it was not until later that I learned that books could be drugs. Leave it to nations with socialized medicine to chash in on the medicinal properties of books!

Also, for those of you who found BookMooch to be too self-serving, there is a more philanthropic way to share your favorite books with the world... Has anyone tried
.bookcrossing?

She's So Unusual!

Some people deny the existence of fate. Whether I questioned it before, I now know better. Could it be mere coincidence that the one time in a month that my radio was tuned into something besides public radio was also the exact moment that they announced Cyndi Lauper's concert bus rolling into town? I think not.

Luckily, Roomie had not yet bought me a birthday present and felt quite guilty about that little fact. Next thing you know, she and I were shaking our true colors all over the smokers green at the Sunset Amphitheatre with dozens of admirers begging to dance in our circle (they wouldn't let us dance in the isle... fascist ushers).

We let one guy, Aidan, stick around all through the night--at least for all of the fast songs. (Sorry, mom, but he had to go sit by his shy, non-dancing boyfriend during the ballads--all in the chance you take trying to pick up men at a Cyndi Lauper concert.)

Anyway, time after time Cyndi always puts on a good show! The Vegas crowd lived up to its rep of being full of high-rolling jerks who don't "get" the music or the fans (money does change everything!), but I was in a place of Zen, so no worries. The performance was so good, that it almost made up for the fact that I missed seeing Cyndi off-Broadway in Three Penny Opera last spring (B.S. will appreciate my pain at discovering that I also missed seeing her co-star,Jim Dale!)

Some of you are violently jealous, I know, but don't worry. Cyndi is surely coming to a city near you soon!

Members Only is so 1983...

F.Y.I. Since several of you have emailed me regarding difficulties posting to the comments section, let's clear one thing up...

Anyone can post. You do not have to have an account with Blog Spot or be a "member." You just need to love me enough to share that love for the whole world to see. Tricky, very tricky.

Ode to a Baby Brother: The Final Chapter (For Now...)

5. Al Qaeda is after Bill O'Reilly... anyone could be next. Be sure to live life to the fullest while you can!

4. There are only 6 working days left during which you can get a US passport that does not contain an electronic tracking chip. (You think that is another one of my crazy conspiracy theories, but sometimes fact is scarier than fiction.)

3. Don't let Kyle and Curtis out travel you, man! They drool on themselves.

2. I may have made some comments to your mother that she might have misconstrued as allusions to the notion that you could possibly have joined the Hare Krishnas, and it is possible that she will not rest until she sees your cute little well-coiffed head in person and clad in something void of the color saffron... Or something like that could have happened... I am not entirely certain where she gets these ideas. Could be she is not eating enough tumeric***.

And The Number One Reason Jed Needs A Passport Is...

1. VegasBabe and BigSis may not need a chaperone the next time they hit the road, but THE WORLD needs for them to have a qualified chaperone. It's your duty to protect the huddled masses in New Zealand and beyond!

Mostly I just want to have some quality on-the-road time with my favorite baby brother, so get going!

Love,
VB

***Link To Curry Evidence

P.S. The electronic tracking chips may soon also be in driver's licenses... that means anyone with a chip reader can track your comings and goings from wherever then elect to set the darn thing up... think about it... no more anonymous visits to Green Peace rallies. Sorry to get all heavy on a tribute blog, but its all about educating the electorate... write your congressperson.

Homage to J Part II

8. You never know when a bad date might lead to the need for a quick escape down south.

7. If "the war" continues and your conscientious objector status falls through, you may need a quick escape up north.

6. Your retired father needs help with the spring planting on his new farm in New Zealand, and it is a son's duty to help his aged parents.

Wow, I need some rest. More tomorrow. Also, I want to keep you reading...

XOXOXOXO to both my brothers, even the one who is blushing as he reads this!

-VB

P.S. We all know that J is a patriot (sorry about #7), but there are no laughs to be found there. ;)

Thank Heaven for Baby Brothers!

Mine saved me this weekend. As my first sibling to run to my aid, he wins the big prize. Jedders, this blog is for you!

Top 10 Reasons Jed Needs a Passport:

10. Only on China Air are you likely to really enjoy snakes on a plane... (either as a meal or because they forgot to fumigate) and ONLY in China are you likely to fly China Air.

9. 99% guaranteed, the cute postal worker will want to do more than just take you picture

8. Well... you see... sometimes you need to make a quick trip to.. er... no... wait... it is coming to me now... almost have it...

Wow, there is a lot of pressure when you blog in someone else's honor. I am going to have to sleep on this and get back to you tomorrow, but PERHAPS my other readers can chime in with a few reasons worthy of the top ten...

Man, if I begged any more it would just be sad.

Hugs and kisses to my baby bro!

People Say the Darndest Things...

When I was a full-time classroom teacher, I had a quote wall honoring the humorous and wonderful utterances of my dear students. I have been considering creating a similar tribute to the things I hear on the job as a grant writer. I think it would pep up my office decor, but I worry that various statements might not impress my supervisor. The following top some of the recent statements made to me throughout the course of my normal work endeavors:

1. You're so smart and helpful; Would you consider applying to be the head secretary for our school.

2. I don't know if you are familiar with grants, but the money does not just come to you... you have to actually request it.

3. It's a good thing you are as smart as you are dorky, or you would be in BIG trouble.

4. No, I like your hair, but I don't like it right now.

Okay, number four would probably never make the wall, but I thought it was worth mentioning here. Again, feel free to chime in with some of the saddest things people have said to you lately... I am going for audience participation these days.

You Can't Judge a Book Store by It's Coffee Shop

T.T. is having trouble locating a great independent book, so I have to plug my favorite. In Denver we always shop the Tattered Cover, and they will ship anywhere! Check out the website:


They are also part of Book Sense--a cooperative group of independently owned and operated book stores operating throughout the country.

For the location of the bookstore with Book Sense nearest you, call 1-888-BOOKSENSE or look for the Book Sense logo (pictured)when shopping in town or online.

In the big-box stores, the shelf space is more valuable than the books, but in Book Sense stores the customer is Queen!

So, dear readers, (If there are any...) log in and plug your favorite independent

Frey and Publisher Settle Lawsuit

By HILLEL ITALIE
The Associated Press
Thursday, September 7, 2006; 4:57 PM

NEW YORK -- It's payback time for disgraced memoirist James Frey and his publisher, Random House Inc. Under a tentative legal settlement, readers who said they were defrauded by Frey's best seller, "A Million Little Pieces," can claim refunds, an agreement called unprecedented and understandable by a leading publishing attorney.

Check out the article.

Sweet Vindication for my gal, Oprah!
-VB

A Million Little WHAT?

So, have I mentioned that I am part of an on-line book swap group called...

I guess so. I will try not to put you to sleep with the details, but, in case you have been counting, I have received 5 books, 5 are in the mail on their way to my house, and I am happy as a clam.

A friend who did not have the energy to join herself but wanted to contribute to the movement (you might say "The Revolution..." )brought me some garbage bags full of her used paperbacks. She then informed me that I was now indebted to her and would need to request books on her behalf whenever she thought of any she needed... I love the strings that bind friends together.

Several of her books were in shreds and landed directly in my recycling bin. Most are murder mysteries. None seemed to be attracting any Moochers. It seemed that rather than getting rid of my unwanted books, I was becoming a half-way house for other people's unwanted texts...

Anyway, I decided I would read on of the wayward memoirs, A Million Little Pieces, but just as I considered pulling it from my on-line inventory, someone requested it. No problem, I would read it over the Labor Day weekend before passing it on to a new home.

Now, I was about 5 pages in when I said to myself, "Self, isn't this the book that got Oprah into all kinds of trouble..." And later, "Self, is this the touching memoir of one man's struggle with addiction or a poorly written, melodramatic novel in memoirs clothes?"

Horrendous language and gross out medical scenes aside, I was soon hooked. Still, the pressure to finish in time to mail the book out by Tuesday was intense! I stayed up all night on Monday (okay, not all night, but long past my 9:30 bedtime).

Tuesday when I went to mail out the book, I noticed that the cover looked different on-line... The picture on my monitor was small, but it looked like TOES, rather than fingers... And the cake confetti was oblong rather than spherical...Did they have alternate covers across the country? Around the world?

I enlarged the picture and noticed that I had, in fact, offered a copy of A Million Little Lies to the world. Unfortunately, I did not have a copy of this book to give...

Upon further research, I realized that there were several parodies on AMLP, including one called A Million Little Feces. I did not dig any further in that direction... I apologized to the lady who had been waiting a week for me to mail out the book I had promised. She refused my offers to mail the one I actually possessed.

So... I still have the book... Touching masterpiece or tremendous sham? You be the judge... Just log in and mooch the darn book that is cluttering up my shelf! Please.

For more on the controversy (in case you were living under a rock or in Japan or something)...

-VB

P.S. I went to James Frey's website--sad! His fans have tattoos in his honor and openly dis Oprah for not being supportive enough. Oh the sacrilege!

Stop Mad Cowboy Disease!

Cafepress, the same online store that brought you Wal*Mart wear, has some seriously awesome tributes to our Cowboy in Chief...

I definitely want the bumper sticker that reads as follows:
"Yee-Haw" is not a foreign policy.

Some of the content was found objectionable by my inner censor, so I will not put the link here. If you are over 18, have fun.

-VB

P.S. Today I mentioned to a friend that my views on politics are really rather moderate. She laughed. I expounded, explaining that only in our VERY specific culture would a pro-life school teacher be considered a Communist. Now if she'd have seen me screaming at the TV while watching "Good Night and Good Luck" (or any State of the Union Address from the last 6 years), she might have a case... I may be Pink, but I ain't exactly Red.

Not Marriageable...

A co-worker forwarded me this article with a note saying that we are not marriageable.

I found the following excerpts particularly interesting...

"Then, to put it bluntly, the more successful she is, the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you...
When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase that he or she will meet someone more likeable than you."

Well, duh! To any men who are reading this, I would like to point out that your generation can no longer get away with being the slugs your grandfathers were. So step up to the plate and be men. We're waiting.

P.S. Yes, mom, I do actually believe that there are a lot of great guys out there. Even some who are not already members of our family.

Wal*Mart Does Suck!

About 2 years ago I decided to stop shopping at Wal*Mart. In addition to its well-document social problems (unfair promoting practices, merchandise dumping, etc.), the stores are dirty, crowded and unfriendly.

Now, my father raised me to be frugal, and at first it was tough paying a bit more at Target. Now I am a Target believer--the atmosphere is better and the merchandise is better quality. Not to mention that Big Sis and the cooperate website both say that they are the greener option.

I admit, I have been to Wal*Mart on occasion--sometimes a girl has an emergency AND my parents love the place...

But I had not been to my local Wal*Mart for at least a year... Until one night when I just needed one little thing... I ventured in last month, and I soon remembered something I had somehow forgotten. I HATE WAL*MART. In fact, my shopping experience can be summed up in one word: torture. The lines were long, the isles were crowded and the people were impolite. I commiserated with some fellow shoppers in the check out and we all said the same thing, "now I remember why I don't shop here."

Now I have some new reasons not to shop Wal*Mart.

Okay, the protesters can be a bit crazy.

Case in point.

Still, I bought a t-shirt to show my support for a society without Big-Box stores. I figure both my sisters will be proud! Now, can you guess which shirt I purchased? I'll give you a hint. I won't be wearing it on my next trip to China.