Preoccupied?

I found this while cleaning out my electronic files. Originally was part of a lesson I taught at church.

You might be overly preoccupied with marriage if...

You have ever rewritten your “10-year plan” based on a single date with a cute guy.

You have ever changed your major or your career to be “more marriageable.”

You start naming the babies the first time he pulls out your chair.

You refuse to date men whose initials will mess up your monogram or whose height will mess up your gene pool.

You allow anyone else to make you feel less because you are single, happy and blessed.

No real reason for posting it, except that I have been thinking about a friend who has lost her mind over a man. Didn't we get enough of that in high school?

No Safe Haven

Let me tell you about the palace on the hill. It shines bright with its marble floors and functioning air conditioning and (you won't believe this)windows! (Who would have ever thought that a School District X employee would have a window in his/her classroom/office?)

Still, life is not always greener. So, the next time I mention to someone that I work at The Administrative Office and they chime back with, "Oh, the Taj Mahal," I am going to let them in on a little secret.

I was working away at a fever pitch last week--trying to wrap up some end of fiscal year yuck-yuck. The phone was ringing and I was typing as I fielded questions on various projects. When I felt a tickle on my arm, I assumed the air conditioning has caused a paper to flutter or my sleeve had shifted. Never did I imagine that The Administrative Office might be full of overly aggressive roaches that would climb their way to my attention.

Now, I am no wimp about bugs. Spiders and ants? No problem. But a roach on my bare flesh without warning? I jumped and shrieked and got roach guts all over my arm. I could hear the secretaries chuckling, "that VB, she is some comedian..." The monster was oozing vital fluids all over my desk, but it refused to die. As the battle raged on, not a soul came to my assistance.

It could have been murderous marauders, but no one was galloping to my rescue. It seems that all of the key codes, name badges and security guards in the world cannot defend us from some terrifying enemies. What sort of embargo or preemptive strive might give me the confidence and security-of-self I need to return to the office? Perhaps we should take out the crickets. After all, an insect in an insect, and they must be in cahoots. A regular Thorax of Evil.

(Did not mean to get all editorial at the end there. It just slipped out. Sorry.)

We Like The Cars...

I uploaded this photo back in May, hoping to post it along with photos and stories from my first ever Jeep expedition... Alas, I still have no Jeep photos to share... For the record, we kicked some butt and the video (if ever recovered) is well worth watching.

Anyway, this in one of my uncles (S or K) at the race track north of town... Those crazy guys and their families wanted to drive with the big boys.

I thought I would go ahead and post for the family so they can ask lots of questions about who was out raced and who sat on the side lines...

Analyzing My Sister

Awhile ago VegasBabe invited me to join her blog. Unlike her first invitation, I recognized it for what it was and I didn't repeat my earlier mistake of thinking her invitation was spam full of porn. I accepted, but I've been reticent to say anything because I didn't want to disturb the beautiful aura surrounding this site. But then it occurred to me that perhaps it's also rude for me to accept and then not say anything. I think I've finally come up with something worth sharing. Ta Da!


Okay, so this really isn't mine. It's a picture "drawn" by my youngest sister entitled "Wheeeeeee," and I thought the audience here might be a bit more appreciative of her genius. Of course it's great art, but what I find most interesting about this picture are the autobiographical elements. One of our favorite vacation spots is at the beach in Alabama, where we often like to go boogie boarding. So I'm guessing that's where this picture takes place. I also happen to think that the bikini is interesting since none of us wear them. Maybe there's a little wishful thinking on Lauren's part. After all, the one in the bikini is riding the top of the wave, so it probably represents her.

As you know, Lauren is the youngest of seven, with six of her siblings being girls. But she mostly grew up with her two older sisters and her brother. So maybe that's why there are three girls and one boy in this picture, or maybe she didn't want to crowd her picture by including all her sibling and their husbands. Notice the gender of the person being chased by the shark. Do you get a sense for how she feels about her brother? And what is that black creature floating in the wave? I think it's our cat Bagheera.

Feel free to suggest your own interpretation of this great work. At any rate, I hope that this beautiful tropical scene has added some serenity to your day.

Popular!

Here are some views from the front yard (click on them to enlarge). I am sure we are very popular with the neighbors!


Even over the weekend (they don't work on weekends...) we block 1/2 of the street. No worries though--Bruce and Dinero (I swear that is what he said his name was...) promise to have it done next week.

We Said "GO Natural"

I have been waiting for this day for three years... Finally found an honest landscaper who we can trust. WE told him we wanted something natural... Something organic and lush. I cried tears of joy when I came home and saw this! I hope you have the vision of what we were aiming for...

Biggest Little City in the Whole Damn World

I killed some time in Reno just to watch it die...

And that is what time does in Reno, DIE. At least the weather is civilized there, because we are still topping 100 every day of the week in Vegas.

Cutting Edge

WOW! I did not know how cutting edge Big Sis and I are!!! I just found out that BookMooch only came into existence last Monday, and I joined on Wednesday... On the cusp, we are...

The system is young, but the members are on fire! I received an email with the following stats(after 9 days of operation):

- total members: 4056
- members listing books to give away: 1,566 (38%)
- total books available for mooching: 19,067
- Countries participating: 44


As for me, I am still waiting for my 3 books to arrive in the mail... I will keep you posted. Sign up NOW! This is the best thing since "Book It!" earned me free personal pan pizzas in 3rd grade.

Some Have Stars on Thars...

If you appreciated my toe art (July), I can refer you to my nail lady. I will, however, warn you to beware the Vietnamese nail guy with the pompadour... I wish to protect his anonymity and avoid a lawsuit for defamation of character, so let's just call him BB.

For my birthday my sister suggested that we continue our tradition of pedicures and eyebrow waxing... We could not remember the name of our favorite foot-care technicians, so she simply requested "no men" be slated to fix up our toes.

When we arrived we were both whisked back to have our waxes. Seeing the look on her face when she came out, I knew things had not gone well. I told myself that I should head for the hills right then and there, but (a lot like my friend Alice) I very seldom take my own good advice.

I'm not gonna lie, the waxing was not good. A month later, I am still trying to grow out my eyebrows, and I look like a gorilla. Little did I know, however, that the fun was only beginning!

After the wax I wandered into the nail care area of the salon and discovered a sullen sister receiving her pedi at the hands of A MAN. The guys at this salon tend to play rough and avoid the fluff (that is why we avoid them), but not BB. He was a 85 pound, 5 foot Asian version of Liberace on laundry day. He cooed and lavished us with compliments, and he found Big Sister's kryptonite.

When he realized her feet were sensitive, he made sure to tickle them until toes curled, fists clenched, tears welled and shrieks accosted people passing by on the streets. This continued until Big Sis nearly passed out from oxygen deprivation.

While her toes dried, he used a blow dryer and excessive amounts of hair spray to reinforce his pompadour, then he came back for more. He kissed her hand for (no joke) 45 seconds, rolling his lips and face back and forth across the back of the hand. He did the same for me. Stunned, I missed his next comment. "Huh?" I asked.

Thinking he was swooping in to repeat his statement in my ear, I continued to sit, jaw dropped, while he leaned in, pressed his face to my neck and nuzzled until I too began to shriek.

After escaping from the spa chair, I realized that I could actually smell BB on my body. I paid my bill and ran for those hills that had called to me post-wax. Not quick enough. BB caught me one last time in an embrace that sent chills down my spine. Sufficiently groped, I staggered to the car and screamed my dismay. Convulsions wracked my body, causing my foot to shoot out into the dashboard of my car. One red, white and blue tribute to the land I love was demolished in a single moment.

Some would say that I defaced a flag (of sorts), others would debate the constitutionality of flag centered acts of protest. All I know it that when BB gets his face in your space, loss of a rhinestone toe star is the least of your worries!

Save a Tree, and "Give " New Life to that Dusty Old Copy of Gone with the Wind!

Once again, my sister has given me a whole new reason to love the internet...

I just joined this on-line book swap, and I think it is pretty cool. You simply post books you are willing to "give" to other users. Then if someone selects your book, you pay the postage to send that book on to its new home. What do you get in return? A credit to request a free book (or two) from another user.

Okay, so I generally give my used books to friends or charity EVENTUALLY. Still, my house is full of books that I cannot seem to part with despite the fact that I will never read them again. So, I am going to give it a go. Besides, I think it is kind of exciting and romantic to receive a book with it's own history and to have it show up in my mail from a distant land...

If you join and you see a book posted by me, VegasBabe, give me a call--I will see about getting it to you via the BookMooch black market--no points required.

http://bookmooch.com/

My First Adventure with Lulu

I was sitting at my desk attempting to balance some budgets a few weeks ago when my cell phone rang. My sister was on the other end to inform me that she was submitting an application on my behalf to the local golden retriever rescue. I had been humming and hawing over the prospect of picking up a new best friend for about two years--ever since my old pal George had gone on to the great rainbow bridge by-and-by. I thought this kind of pressure might be just what I needed to stop my feet from dragging, and I consented to Bib Sis's "help."

"You need two personal references... Also, are you willing to have a home-visit? They probably don't do that, but just asking weeds out the wackos." So Big Sis said, but I had to wonder... After all, it was not stopping us.

She submitted my application electronically and within 12 hours I had an email response AND a phone call from the head of the organization. "I emailed your references and someone will be calling you within a day or so to set up the visit. In addition to adopting, would you be interested in possibly becoming a foster parent?" I wondered whether, like foster children, foster dogs required their own bedroom or just their own beds. Big Sis and I began cleaning up the house and the backyard. Would they give a dog to someone who had not managed to properly landscape the yard despite the fact that it had been the official "summer project" for three years running? Would they find me to be a fit mother?

My personal references were not just emailed. They received calls asking them whether they would trust me to tend their own pets while they were away. The home inspectors arrived (there were two!) with eight pages of questions and advice. "Do you have any breakable objects at tail level? Are you aware that the typical golden retriever requires much more exercise than a simple daily walk? Does your gate have a lock? What will you feed him or her?" Then came the moment I had dreaded. "Where will your new pet spend the majority of his/her time? In the yard, throughout the house, or in his/her own room?"

Next came more calls and a "meet and greet" with a dog that the rescue staff and I agreed might be the most compatible with "the family." Lulu charmed me from the start, but there was no rushing the process. We had to comply with the 24 cooling-off period--a time where I was expected to take a step back, think through the magnitude of the situation in a rational way and decide whether I was ready to again become mom to a pup who might be damaged from her past experiences in a hard-knock world.

Who could not fall in love with her face? She was worth the trouble. (Of course, the comedy alone was worth the trouble...) Here's to a lifetime of future adventures! She'll keep you posted about her own adventures if you follow the link (left) to Lulu's very own blog.

P.S. If you thought I was being overly dramatic with the rainbow bridge thing, you obviously have never spent a lot of time with true golden retriever lovers! Get educated, people.

http://www.goldheart.org/rainbow.htm